Oh the Places You'll Go

I got a hair cut yesterday. It was a lovely experience, I tipped the stylist way too much, and I'm not even sure I got what I wanted done (hair people speak a different language). Because of this I took a good look at myself in the mirror. And then I began asking questions, ones which I don't necessarily have the answers to just yet.
Who Am I?
Is this who I want to be?
Am I who my child self would have wanted to become?
Do I recognize myself?
Obviously, these questions at surface level (that's a pun) are pretty simple. Yes, I know who I am, yes, I recognize myself. But in reference to my soul these questions get much more complicated. I feel like I am constantly changing; from one month to the next I am different. And as I write this I notice that none of those questions take God's opinion of me into account. We even talked about that at my RA training this morning!
Sure, I'm an okay person. I do the right things most of the time, smile when I can, try to love people, blah, blah, blah. None of that stuff is bad by any means, but who am I doing that for? If I am honest, I am doing them to please my friends, to make more friends, to impress that guy I think is handsome, to appear perfect to those who don't know me, to feel better overall about myself. But I will tell you (if you don't already know) the purpose of all these things isn't for any of the people listed (not even the guy, gasp), it's for God. If my heart isn't acting in service and worship to God, then it's worthless.
Doesn't that kind of defeat the point of anything I do then? Why should I even ask questions about who I am? I think I should be asking the question rather, "Who should I be?" or "Who does God want me to become?" The obvious answer is, of course, Jesus. But there's more to it. I should be so much like Jesus and have him so involved in my life that there's nothing left of me. When I look in the mirror, I should see a reflection (albeit an imperfect and unclear one) of the man to whom I owe my life and all my love.
The step now is to admit that right now, I am not living that out. I'm a Christian and I have a desire to know God, but I need to start pursuing Jesus more than anything else in my life. I need to die to my hopes and dreams and ambitions, I need to die to my pride and my self-loathing and my judgmental attitude and my anger and my worry. No matter what happens to me and where I go, as long as I am do EVERYTHING in service to God, I will be content. Even if that means not getting the best GPA or having to deal with hard things or working through difficult relationships and an unsure future.
So what am I saying? I'm not really sure, only that God is good, I need to emulate him more every day, to let go of the sins and worries I hold so closely, and to my unknown future to my known God (stole that last quote, no biggie).